jiaying. (:
fifth april.

family, friends & dance

HCMAD<3 07S79 adeline ann audrey ainan bertilla charmaine cherylchang clarice estelle ezra huitian jess jiayi jiayun joanne kelvin liuqian meiling mianrong mieoteng nicholas nicole qianying ruixiong sherene serene shionyee siyu stacy tisiana tingyu thomas vanessagoh xianhuan xiyu xueen yueyang yunning
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let's chase the summer and forget the world.

my mama and my grandma were quarrelling ytd when i got home.
i was petrified .
cos my mama told her we're gonna move out.
out out out.
i cant wait.
but my sister told me smth this morning like..
if we move out, my mama can treat it like she doesnt have a mother.
understand?
shitttyyy.
den ytd she stomped inside her room after tongxinyuan.
only to stomp out of it later and went out of the house.
came back only when i am falling asleep.
can vaguely hear noises outside.
her shouting and shouting.
wtf.
well.
i pretended not to hear and went on to sleep.
i wanna get out of that mess.

why does she have to make life so difficult.
we jus want our freedom.
and she wants her freedom too.
what is her problem?
we weren't living with her for goodness knows how many years.
jus moved in 2 + years ago.
wtf what is she thinking of.

im scared to go home later.

im tired. very tired.
im tired of thinking.
of thinking what people think of me.
i just want to be myself.
but this world cannot accept a true me.
i don even know who am i.

im stressed.
gg back everyday.
to a home where i don even consider home.
scared about this.
worried about that.

i need to see a shrink.

stress.
over school. dance. [the auditions ARE NOT OVER. AFTER SCHOOL TODAY. FREAK.]
work. tests.
speaking of tests, i have FOUR tests next week.
no kidding.
how i wish i was kidding.
well.
and stress.
over home. friendships.
it's amazing sometimes to think the stuff we 15yearolds have to handle.
handle. without complaint.
everything would be fine.
if you have someone to talk to.
someone who will listen to you.
just listen.
someone who will respond immediately.
someone who cares enough.

im tired of trying.
to be that someone for others..
nobody ever wants to be that "someone" for me.
whatever.

I AM FREAKING OUT.
I SERIOUSLY AM.
there's auditions for dance tml.
2 parts to it.
first u dance in a grp of 6.
if u get in,..
u're dance SOLO for the second dance.
is that freaking me out or what?

as if i'll ever be the solo dancer.
i don have the technique.
not the feeling.
nor do i have the guts.
i dono why is mr raj telling all of us to audition for it.
goodness me.

i want to get into the dance.
but if i get thru the first part, i'll have to dance solo.
do i have a choice?
luckily i still had a chance to choreograph the self-choreography part since i haven done it. i was so so scared that my turn will reach last sat and i have to dance solo. w/o my self-choreography and i'll stone there.
shld i be thankful i got time to choreograph?

i dono.
im freaking out.
jus wanna salute those who did it on saturday:
estelle [the first!], yunyi, jolene, joanne, felicia, meisiew, jiayi, huzhe jacklyn, yihong, helen.
you guys were sure brave.
wow.

wish me luck.
i'll need it.

was almost late for school today cos of the rain and everything.
haha.
den while i was on the bus got sms from jess:D and huiping.
haha.
i didnt know i was the saviour for rainy days(:
but duh i wasnt late.
even if i was late
i would have sneaked in.
ha. like i always do.



flash is oh-so-boring.
but better than advanced life sci.
wanteng disagrees violently.
blahblahblah. whatever.



my life is such a routine and how i hate it.
--------------------------------------------

sabbaticals week.
flash and film-making.
haha.

anyway happy birthday to meisiew! (:

life is so so boring sometimes.
but be careful of what you wish for..
cos u may get more than what u bargained for.
blahblahblah im totally borrred.

oh! and i hate chem sia.
totally shitty ass.

hurhur.
jess is doing her zuowen now.
"have ye finish yet hur?"
ha ha.
monday's youth day.
friday's DA FUNFAIR (:
hehe.
gg watch movvvvie after that.
wonderful dude.